~My Malady~
08:17 Jul 07 2005
Times Read: 696
The moon must be in Scorpio. I'm feeling utterly alone and intensely emotional tonight. I can feel the scorpion's sting to my delicate heart.
Perhaps it is because of this phase of the moon, that I find clarity of thought, or so it would seem. The moon sheds a different light, under such intense planetary positions. Nevertheless, my heart feels tossed on a sea of emotion.
The cycle always begins the same. My karma, my lot in life, is to mend the broken, the downtrodden, the emotionally weary, forgoing my self. I call it sacrifice. I will coddle, sooth, love and adore my "children". In return, for a short while, I receive the same. And it is good.
The cycle always ends the same. Shall I indulge? I would expect you to know. It ends, with my solitude, alone in the dark. Watching, from monotone shadows, on Grey Street, my loves, blissfully unaware of my own comfortless, abandoned soul, indulging the dance with another. With heavy and forlorn heart, I observe, turn and walk away.
My work is done. I am no longer needed. My sweetness no longer tasted. My words no longer woven in your mind. My name no longer written upon your heart. My image no longer inflaming your insatiable appetite.
This vicious and reoccurring cycle is my malady. Although, upon closer examination within my mind, my utter soul, I find that I, myself, am the most tragic, from which there is no escape.
And while this is excruciatingly painful on an earthly level, I am fully aware of the spiritual necessity, moreover contracted, before our physical appearance into this dimension.
Despite my frustration for this natural order, I advance another level, in the spiritual realm and embrace the glowing warmth of my higher self. And it is good.
© 2005
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